I’ve recently lost someone to suicide and in any such instance. it was harrowing and completely disorienting.
It is a jarring effect on one’s life and leaves us with more questions than answers.
This has left me feeling not only heartbroken but feeling like surely there could be a better way.
When someone is suicidal, they are in immense pain and this is not something there is a cure for.
They should not have to deal with that in shame nor on their own.
This topic is so taboo that these poor people end up ending their lives in the most awful places and in the most brutal way. There is no love and no dignity for them, and their departure is mostly received with shock and anger, which is soon followed by disbelief and beratement.
Let’s look at the act itself.
It is something that only the bravest of people will do. It is final and irreversible. If someone is in so much pain that the only option is to leave, we should let them. We should open the dialogue, remove the shame and be there for that person.
Case and point, during the pandemic, in the complex where I stay, there was a young lady who abruptly ended her life. She was found next to her toilet, face down on the floor with her pants down. People where walking in and out of her house to catch a glimpse like she was a freak show at a county fair. She died alone, heartbroken and completely undignified.
What if she could have had the freedom to let her loved ones know that she was done with her journey on earth. What if she could have told them that her intention was to move on into the next chapter, whatever that may be. What if she could have died knowing that she was loved and would be missed.
People who have terminally ill loved ones have time to reconcile the fact that these people will be leaving soon. They are given the respect and love they deserve and usually pass away surrounded by their friends and family.
People who are suicidal cannot tell anyone about it as the shame and unacceptance prevents them from having the same peaceful experience.
Living with major depression is no less tragic than living with cancer or any other terminal illness.
It is literally a lifetime of extreme loneliness, brutal self-loathing, and unimaginable pain. Why then is it scuffed off and dismissed like there is something wrong with that person. It is physiological in every nature and manifests chaotically as Psychological and Emotional. The world looks upon these people in judgment instead of commending their courage to live everyday in this pain. It is only fair that they receive the same respect and love.
I believe that being told by a friend that they intend to take their own life, not only gives one the opportunity to accept the illness has become terminal, it also gives each other the opportunity to walk the last chapter together.
If I had thought of this earlier and if the world were less judgmental and open to this illness instead of shaming people who live with it, I could have been there for her regardless of her decision, and she would have died knowing that she was loved and would be missed, peacefully, instead of shamefully with no one by her side to let her know “It’s Ok, you can Go Now”.
It is a jarring effect on one’s life and leaves us with more questions than answers.
This has left me feeling not only heartbroken but feeling like surely there could be a better way.
When someone is suicidal, they are in immense pain and this is not something there is a cure for.
They should not have to deal with that in shame nor on their own.
This topic is so taboo that these poor people end up ending their lives in the most awful places and in the most brutal way. There is no love and no dignity for them, and their departure is mostly received with shock and anger, which is soon followed by disbelief and beratement.
Let’s look at the act itself.
It is something that only the bravest of people will do. It is final and irreversible. If someone is in so much pain that the only option is to leave, we should let them. We should open the dialogue, remove the shame and be there for that person.
Case and point, during the pandemic, in the complex where I stay, there was a young lady who abruptly ended her life. She was found next to her toilet, face down on the floor with her pants down. People where walking in and out of her house to catch a glimpse like she was a freak show at a county fair. She died alone, heartbroken and completely undignified.
What if she could have had the freedom to let her loved ones know that she was done with her journey on earth. What if she could have told them that her intention was to move on into the next chapter, whatever that may be. What if she could have died knowing that she was loved and would be missed.
People who have terminally ill loved ones have time to reconcile the fact that these people will be leaving soon. They are given the respect and love they deserve and usually pass away surrounded by their friends and family.
People who are suicidal cannot tell anyone about it as the shame and unacceptance prevents them from having the same peaceful experience.
Living with major depression is no less tragic than living with cancer or any other terminal illness.
It is literally a lifetime of extreme loneliness, brutal self-loathing, and unimaginable pain. Why then is it scuffed off and dismissed like there is something wrong with that person. It is physiological in every nature and manifests chaotically as Psychological and Emotional. The world looks upon these people in judgment instead of commending their courage to live everyday in this pain. It is only fair that they receive the same respect and love.
I believe that being told by a friend that they intend to take their own life, not only gives one the opportunity to accept the illness has become terminal, it also gives each other the opportunity to walk the last chapter together.
If I had thought of this earlier and if the world were less judgmental and open to this illness instead of shaming people who live with it, I could have been there for her regardless of her decision, and she would have died knowing that she was loved and would be missed, peacefully, instead of shamefully with no one by her side to let her know “It’s Ok, you can Go Now”.
I have no doubt that this post will be received with shock and awe, but I ask that we all put ourselves in that person’s shoes and ask ourselves how we would want to die. Alone, on the floor, as an open display for the rest of the world to judge, or in the safety of the arms of someone we love.
It is certainly a perspective to think about.
It is certainly a perspective to think about.